Today is Imbolc, The start of Spring, where we see buds opening, flowers blooming and the air warms up. The seasonal time where we can plant the seeds of our intentions and have them grow. Where we can grow our dreams, where we can see them blossom in our lives. Today I have set one intention to put aside the things that I have been focusing on lately and put my attention onto Vision Quest. In just over a months time I will be fully unplugging and going into the bush with 15 women, connecting with the land, connecting with spirit and then going off on a 3 day fasting solo. I will be spending time with myself, listening to the voids within, listening to spirit, and calling a vision.
I'm starting to feel a little bit scared.
That bit of fear is what has been keeping me from preparing. I've been putting it off, not reading anything, not writing anything and hoping that ignoring it will mean that.......that what? i don't actually have an answer. I have quietly been taking note in my head that everything leading up to VQ is the preparation. And it has been a doozy!!! So I'm scared. I'm scared of not eating, of being bitten by a snake, of being wet and cold. I scared of what i might hear when i listen to my heart with no distractions.
I did a Vision Quest a few years ago when my baby was just a wee little baby (how cute is she!!)
I stayed in base camp with our teacher and apprentices feeling both pissed off and relieved in equal measure that I wasn't going off myself. Staying in base camp proved to be a pretty amazing experience which gave me exactly what I needed in that time. I learned a huge lesson in accepting where you are in any given moment and there is so much gold in that, rather than fighting it. And I learned a very amazing and powerful lesson in how to be in service to others.
So as I come up to my second VQ experience I am remembering the camping, the woman only space, the magic whispering off the wind, the babies so happy in their woollen suits, the cold, the feeling that something really profound was happening. Something seriously magical and life changing was going on. and I am looking forward to revisiting that space.
(not the best photo but drumming with a 5 month old strapped to my back while camping! go me!)
but i'm still scared.
So what am I going to plant tonight? What are the intentions for this seasonal cycle? Well, there are ones for better communication with loved ones, there are ones about a full and abundant working life. But a big one is about dedicating myself fully to this path, so that when i slip off I am helped gently back on. To plant the seeds of magic and mystery and love and transformation and to watch that blossom as the wheel turns.
With love and Blessings as you plant your seeds of intention.